11 Tips For Parents From Your Doula
Introduction: Doulamamman
I'm Doulamamman Anneli. Since 2019, I have worked as a doula and postpartum doula with my company Swedish Doula Agency. I'm a mother of 3 adult daughters and a grandma of 3 grandchildren, which is a blessing. I live with my husband in Stockholm. My background as someone who has been running a preschool for over 30 years gave me a lot of joy and knowledge around parenthood and raising kids. I am truly grateful for my long and exciting career path that led to me having my dream job as a doula later in life. As a doula, I love to support parents with all the different challenges they might have, both during pregnancy and afterwards in their daily life as new parents. I do this by providing them with knowledge and building a relationship between us as a team, so they can feel safe and in control of their birth. This can make huge difference to the whole experience.
Here are the most common prepartum questions I get, and my answers.
How do I know when to feed my baby?
Keep an eye out for their hungry signals, such as:
1. Licking their lips
2. Searching for the breast
3. Pecking like a hen
4. Screaming
Once they stop and get a ""food coma"", you know that's when they've had enough.
Let your baby eat as often as they like in the first month. Gradually, you will see a pattern develop as they have more regular feeding hours. Don't forget to burp them!
Can I bottle-feed and breastfeed at the same time?
Yes, you can do both. But first, establish breastfeeding before introducing the bottle. Otherwise, it can be confusing for the baby and they might end up preferring the bottle.
Can I give my baby a bath?
Yes, but wait until the umbilical cord has fallen off.
How do I know it's time to change diapers?
You should always change after they've done a number 2. But when they pee, you can see the coloured stripe on the outside of the diaper when it's time to change.
How do I know what's wrong when my baby is screaming?
It's probably nothing to worry about! Either your baby is hungry, or has gas in the tummy, or is just overtired. Babies can also have evening worries, where they have a period of screaming during the night and cannot be soothed. It will pass.
Is it ok to rock my baby to sleep?
You know best what your baby needs. But I would suggest a baby wrap or baby carrier during the daytime. They love staying and sleeping in the wrap and being close to you. Start a good night routine by putting your baby down in the crib to show them it's different from the daytime routine. Put on a lullaby or ocean wave sounds and it will act as a kind of stimulation for nighttime.
Should I be worried about how I'm going to feel after birth?
How you feel when you come home varies from person to person. It will all depend on your experience of the birth, but preparation is key. Don't be afraid to ask for help or talk about what you are going through. Be good to yourself by taking a lot of rest. This will help you heal both from the inside and out. It takes a while until you get to know your baby and your new life. Give it time.
Key tips for postpartum
Rest and use the 5-5-5 rule
5 days IN bed. Your first 5 days should be spent at home, lying in bed.
5 days ON the bed. During the next 5 days, you can start to sit up and do things on the bed.
5 days AROUND the bed. While your focus should still be on resting, during these 5 days, you can stand up and move around the bed.
After this, you will feel more ready to meet the world. You don't have to invite visitors until you feel you have landed in your new life. The body needs a lot of sleep, so try to rest when the baby rests. Even a warm shower and cooked meals are important for healing.
Ask for help and take help that is offered
This doesn't make you an inferior parent.
Give time to build your connection
It's normal to not feel anything more than a need to care for the baby. Love takes time; it will grow with parenthood and can take up to a year.
Do what feels right
Trust your heart. Trust your intuition and do what feels right for you. Be selective about any advice you get.
Remember
You are the best parent for your child. No one can replace that.
Photos by Stephanie Östlund